I Cried Just Now

I know it sounds not cool to declare it, but I did.

Why did I cry then?

I'm not sure. I can't make any deduction after all.

One thing that I know: everything that happened to me is something I've never expected before.

Did I expect to work in a factory? No.
Did I expect to be a "magician" in a factory? No.
Did I expect to stay in Surabaya/Sidoarjo? No.
Did I expect to be a businesswoman? A bit, but not in this near time.

I have no clue about those things before.

On the other hand, God wants me to taste not only happiness but also bitter. "What is it like my Dear, do something you do not have any clue about? Can you conquer my challenges?"

I keep questioning these:
Why do I have to be a "magician"? Being a businesswoman is quite exciting yet tiring.
Why do I have to take double jobs? I can earn enough money in my own business anyway.
Why can't I just say enough and get back to my plan? If I stop now, then I'll make a lot of people disappointed. Yes, I am surrounded by people who think that work with people is a phase I must take. The higher income I get, then I'll be the coolest person ever.

See? I got the answer to all my questions. But recently I felt like in a prison. I must do something I have no passion for it, at all.
I miss the plants
I miss my Kew
I miss getting on something related to botany.
I miss my college friends
I miss the forest
I miss the botanic garden
I miss the plant science
I miss my Campbell
I miss............ my old me.

She was a girl who lives her life with full passion and her brain was flooded with a lot of botanic things around the world.