Enjoy

2019, I can say it was such a painful one: I cried, I have suicidal thoughts, I angry to everyone, I just HATE everything in that year. But behind those miserable things, I learnt a lot. I'm trying to put my feet in two sides, I'm trying to be the best friend ever, I'm trying to keep the trust, I'm trying to understand my role, I'm trying to keep my expectation at the very low, I'm trying to live the present life, and let the other trying-list are queuing. Somehow I'm sure the future will surprise me and the past already taught me in a way.

My friend said, every each of us has a role. When we're suddenly being apart with someone we loved, means our role in his/her life is done or the other way round, his/her role in our life is done. It hurts me, but true. Day by day, I'm trying to swallow that bitter fact and I realized it's not their apart thing that hurts me, but my very own expectations: too high, too far, too complicated, and only happens inside my head. It double hurts me.

Another said again, just be calm, it was just like a baby whose trying to walk with their feet. It'll be difficult at first but I'll get used to it someday.

Dear friends, anyone who strengthen me to get through last year. Sharing stories with you are really my happiness. I'm enjoying every moment we have, do a lot of crazy things, remind me to stay sane, and growing up together from a zero moments to million moments. Thus, I'm thanking God still let our faith are moving side by side until uncertain time.

Thank you.

I Cried Just Now

I know it sounds not cool to declare it, but I did.

Why did I cry then?

I'm not sure. I can't make any deduction after all.

One thing that I know: everything that happened to me is something I've never expected before.

Did I expect to work in a factory? No.
Did I expect to be a "magician" in a factory? No.
Did I expect to stay in Surabaya/Sidoarjo? No.
Did I expect to be a businesswoman? A bit, but not in this near time.

I have no clue about those things before.

On the other hand, God wants me to taste not only happiness but also bitter. "What is it like my Dear, do something you do not have any clue about? Can you conquer my challenges?"

I keep questioning these:
Why do I have to be a "magician"? Being a businesswoman is quite exciting yet tiring.
Why do I have to take double jobs? I can earn enough money in my own business anyway.
Why can't I just say enough and get back to my plan? If I stop now, then I'll make a lot of people disappointed. Yes, I am surrounded by people who think that work with people is a phase I must take. The higher income I get, then I'll be the coolest person ever.

See? I got the answer to all my questions. But recently I felt like in a prison. I must do something I have no passion for it, at all.
I miss the plants
I miss my Kew
I miss getting on something related to botany.
I miss my college friends
I miss the forest
I miss the botanic garden
I miss the plant science
I miss my Campbell
I miss............ my old me.

She was a girl who lives her life with full passion and her brain was flooded with a lot of botanic things around the world.

Butter flies

I used to think that I could not go on

my life was nothing when I'm not that strong

And now I know the meaning of true love

I'm waiting for burger without a ham

If I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I don't believe butter flies
I don't believe butter sure can fly
I think about it every night and day
Spread on bread and take away

I don't believe butter flies
I see the butler's running through the open door
I don't believe butter sure can fly
I don't believe butter flies
I don't believe butter flies
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Random write from me and my brother-in-law
Original song from R. Kelly titled "I believe I can Fly"

Self respecting

Hello, good people!

It's been so long hasn't it?. New routine you know and I need some time to adapt with it. Did I say happy new year by the way? hahaha I think I forgot, sorry. my bad. Yes, the beginning of 2018 wasn't that good but promising somehow. I (probably) lost one of my close friends, but God gave me another things to get busy about, kind of distraction. Let me list those "gifts":

1. Has built my own post office

2. Has became volunteer in Asian Games 2018

3. Has became volunteer in Asian Para Games 2018

I'm sure a lot of people will ask "why did you choose post office, ria?

Well, it because I'm a philatelist and a bit obsessed for having a post museum. Yes, I want to tell the world or at least my neighbor that we can learn a lot from either stamps or post cards. Even we can connect with foreigner to share some stories, feel like travelling around the world. Then I thought again, museum wasn't cheap matters. It'll need a lot of resources; human, finance, and props. So, I need another stepping stone to reach that goal. After all research, post office is the best way because I can help people surround me while I also branding my place. At least in the next two or three years everyone will know a house in Cendrawasih street is a post office. 

The process of making post office, of course wasn't that easy. Passing through a long bureaucracy is a must. Promoting the new place every week should be my habit. Facing the customer is the most difficult part. I have many kinds of customer, old, mid-age, teenage, child, patient, talkative, fast-pace, picky, et cetera. Impossible to tell about them one by one, but the most remembered things that I learnt from them: be humble and kind to everyone. People do not care what university you from, how many foreign country have you been, or how good your English. They just need a kind person to solve their daily problem, in this case I suppose to help them sending package and payment monthly-bill. 

Maybe some people think it's an easy peasy job............... I don't think so, dear. Because my goal from this business is the post office can grow bigger and hire some employees. Still long way to go, I know. But I realized sooner or later jobless is a never ending problem in my country, that's why I should create a job. 

That's all a brief story. Will be continue tommorow (or tonight), I hope. 

See you!

March-ing

I always have special impressions in this month, good or bad, sweet or bit, kind or evil, and so on. But the thing I need to highlight this time is a few years recently. My apology for bringing personal matter in public space. This page isn't that famous by the way, so I shouldn't worry at all.
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Yesterday, at the same exactly date two and three years ago, I was crying. I clearly remember the moment, first was happiness tears, the second was sorrow tears. It made me self-giggling every time I recall my memories about it, teenage stuff: having a crush and gone, bachelor achievements, friendship, family twist...... What a life!

I'm grateful for what I have so far, more of it, there have been the same person who stay. Long live.

Writing and so on

Been a while I haven't touch this page.
Realizing that I shouldn't have done the writing vacuum.
What a shame, I broke my own promise, huh?
But this time, I want to try (again) to write constantly, every day.
What do I want to talk? anything.
Could be opinions or my own stories.

Cheers!
-yy-

Talk to Your Friends

How's your weekend, good readers? I hope you got the amazing one, so it can fill your happiness bank for better future 😀

Everyone has their right to choose with whom they want to spend their weekend week. I prefer to do it with my family. Unless I made appointment with some special friends. Did I tell you my opinions about friends? Hmm I think I did, but it was on my first post of blog and it has been so years ago. Let me tell you once more about friends because I never get bored to discuss about it. 

Friends are one of God's gifts for human and I'm really thankful to have them around in my 23 years old life. Since elementary until college, I made a lot of friendship with girls and boys. And every one of them has their uniqueness in my memory. I used to think that there is a fake and real friends. But as I growing up, I finally knew that it isn't good to classify people as my own please and restrict my interactions with the one I assumed he or she is annoying because God's help sometimes come from the most unexpected person. 

Enjoy the current moment with your friends, appreciate them while they near. If some of them are trying to go further, just let them go. It's nature's law that people, whoever it is, are suddenly disappear and could be come back in random time. They have their right to choose their life path, maybe they need to improve their personality to better.

I have many kinds of friends, hard to tell them one by one. But these girls are one of my favorite team to hang out with 😁 I wrote about them once in here. At our first age of friendship, we used to like hang out here and there, trying new eatery, watching the recent movie, or another spending money activities, lol. By the time, I got the point every moment I meet Dota, Mbak Oming, Aurin : a simple joy in sharing my stories, so do they (I hope). Keep the spirit up, guys !

I believe that talk to your friends is the easiest way to pain release. It doesn't matter what kind of place I'll go in, just having conversation and shut the phone for a while, then I feel better. No wonder God always make His human in a couple, not only to bring in offspring but also for being a friend to talk.