I've never had

 I had been falling in love with a friendly and kind man

I had been falling in love with a handsome and good attitude man

I had been falling in love with a smart and dedicated man

I had been falling in love with a well known and emphatic man

But somehow, I've never had a chance to fall in love with someone who loves me back.

Maybe next year? 

Perfect Eid Mubarak

Hi there!

It's May 2021 now and I am super happy. I have a lot of writing draft at the back, but somehow I want to publish this one first, without any draft and one time posting.

12 May of  2021, one day before Eid, I got everything in a whole package:

😍 Lovely Family 

😍 Nice Movie 

😍 Good Food 

😍 Beautiful Songs

😍 Happy Dances

Imagine after you close all the work stuff, riding back home, and you got a warm welcome from your nephew-nieces and sister-brother. We were talking about everything from a to z, joking, teasing each other, playing music, singing out loud, laying down on the floor and do nothing. Yeah, it's not an everyday activity we can do recently. Therefore I treasure this moment at its most. 

For our last iftar this year, we chose to get the feast outside. So luckythe universe is on our side now! No traffic jam, not crowded food stall, the relieve feeling among us.... Dear God, this picture will never represent these precious moments. Oden, mentai, pizza, clamps, everything you named it are looks special when eat with them. Basically my family doesn't like a fancy dining in a big building, food street is much better. More over during the pandemic, we've never gone to a restaurant that doesn't have out door part. Paranoid? yes we are, but who cares. OR we prefer cook by our self at home and enjoy it till nothing left 😂  

  

Sorry for our weird poses. We're destined being like that........... I think

Me, clamps, & Bambang ( one of my partners in crime in culinary stuff ) 

My sister and I. What a coincidence, we wear same type of clothes and color. Usually we have a complete different style, but not today.

After gaining a lot of fats, let's burn it darling! We continue the night with dancing together. My nephew, nieces, and I are love dancing. Since when did I realize that? Maybe 2016, when I was in Glasgow. It is really good you know, when you can express yourself and do that together. I've never thought I would love dance that much. No matter how ridiculous my moves, the point is my body and mental are happy. 

Let's dance, done. 30 minutes is quite something for tummy lovers like us. After we're taking bath.....we watched Raya and The Last Dragon, such a great movie!!!!!! I love the pictures, the dragon characters, details, and of course its messages related to human daily life. It's simply about trust. Due we can't maintain trust within others, a good relationship might be broken. Sometimes we forget trust isn't only happened between us and other people, but also happened inside our self. How confident you are in yourself to make every dreams come true? Mostly we were distracted by anger, sorrow, self inconvenience, and the other excuses to lost focus. 

Next day in the morning, we woke up early, no rush and have a proper time to cook everything for big feast after Eid pray. A bit different than last year, yesterday we came to the praying area peacefully, no more runs ! Thank God Anyway, we didn't cook the usual menu for Eid (read: Opor, sambal goreng kentang, etc). Instead, we cooked fettuccini carbonara, sauteed shrimp with paprica, crab omelets, and oden soup. We were a bit bored with santan/coconut milk because we assume it dangerous for parents health, that's why yeah..... we substitute it by cooking any food with fresh milk! 😓 I know right, what a brilliaaaaaaannnnt idea 

mowning walk ~

what a memorable year. even when we're on a religion duty, still.....mask on dude !

see... no Indonesian food today 😁 

ah, I spot last night satay, but no one touch that. Poor satay.

EVERYTHING WAS SO PERFECT, I'M BLESSED & THANK YOU 💖

Some time I wonder what did I do in my life, so God gave me this kind of gift, the sweet one. I wish this kind of vibe will be last forever... I wish. But who knows next year ?  

random

Pernah ngga sih ngerasa kamu tidak fit ini di suatu tempat, kemudian hanya kamu bertahan karena orang lain yang kamu sayang meski bertahun-tahun harus korban perasaan.

Bahkan sampai sekarang aku ngga paham kenapa harus end up di kota Surabaya dan Sidoarjo. Dari sekian banyak list nama kota, keduanya ada di urutan terakhir. Dear God, aku minta maaf karena harus menanyakan kepada-Mu berulang kali, "Kenapa aku harus tinggal di Sidoarjo dan Surabaya dalam waktu yang lama? Padahal kau tahu aku lebih senang berkelana di luar sana mempelajari hal-hal baru.

2 Februari 2021... semoga ada kabar baik dan membuatku semakin bersemangat menjalani hari. Thank you

Lelah

Hiruk pikuk pikiran mengawali hari

Memecah damai yang tersusun rapi

Sayu mataku masih terbuai ilusi

Merayu tuk kembali mapan dalam mimpi

Tak perlu kalian membangunkanku

karena aku lebih memilih diam membisu,

tertawa dalam heningku,

dan menari dalam tangisku.

Pergi kalian semua !

Enyah saja dari dunia !

Sendiri saja kunikmati senja

Bernyanyi rindu di bawah kamboja

Melukis awan dan dia yang kupuja.

Hilang Arah

Sehari ingin mati,

hari berikutnya ingin hidup abadi

Lusa ingin mati lagi,

besoknya kembali dengan semangat pagi.

Hanya Dia yang Maha Tahu

Kapan rasa pilu akan berlalu?

atau memang takdirnya begitu?

Mencoba berpikir namun berujung buntu.

Aku sadar telah memulai yang salah

Sesuatu yang terlihat mudah,

namun nyatanya mentah,

bahkan tak memiliki arah

Jauh....... jauh.......

Semakin jauh kapal melaju

Berharap di satu waktu,

ku kan temukan pelangi di tempat berlabuh

-yay- | 27/05 - 11/10 | INA 61256

Rantau

Setiap detik aku bertanya,

"Kapan tanggal itu tiba?"

Aku rindu bertemu yang tercinta

Walau sesaat namun tak apa

Dalam sendiri kusering meragu,

"Apa kota asing ini pantas untukku?"

Berkelana jauh dari istana nyamanku

Berusaha membangun istana baru

Kurindu aroma rumah meski gerah,

senyum Ibu yang hangat dan ramah,

tawa Ayah yang ringan pun renyah,

kecap masakan lawas nikmat merekah

Izinkanku beristirahat sejenak, kawan.

Dari milyaran penat dan amukan,

serta luapan emosi yang tak tertahan.

Sungguh hati ini rasanya tak karuan

Aku ingin pulang . . . . .

-yay- | 28/9 - 11/10 | INA 61256 

Arthur Seat, Edinburgh, 2016
Photo Credit: Wahyu Ria Triastuti

Bukan Arjuna dan Srikandi

Ada sebuah kisah tentang dua insan

Mereka telah lama menjalin pertemanan

Arjuna, lelaki dengan tutur kata lembut, berkesan

Srikandi, gadis biasa dengan senyum menawan

Tujuh tahun berlalu Srikandi tetap menunggu

Akan sesuatu yang sungguh tidak perlu

Sebuah rasa ingin menjadi satu

Walau ia tahu akan berujung biru.

Bukankah Srikandi dan Arjuna seharusnya bersama?

Namun mengapa hanya ada cerita tak seirama?

Teriakan yang tak menggema?

Dan hati yang sulit menerima ?

Mungkin Srikandi telah salah mengartikan

Sebuah asumsi yang berujung angan,

terlanjur larut dalam buih lautan, dan

menguap ke udara bersama awan

Memang kita tidak pernah tahu rencana sang Kuasa

Mempertemukan beragam manusia dalam satu masa

Bisa jadi itu hal yang biasa

Asal kita bisa mengatur rasa.